TDC Halloween Special II: Sharita Kills Jessie
Quotes Happy Birthday, Eileen! Eileen: Thank you guys for coming. This has been amazing! Now it's time to open up the presents. (Eileen opens up Ciara's present) Eileen: Oh wow, friendship necklaces! Is the other one for you? Ciara: Uh no, the other one's for Jessie since you two have recently been such good friends. Eileen: Aw thanks CC. Now it's time to open the present Julian gave me. (opens present) OMG, tickets to a couples cruise! (Barbara, Ciara, Jocelyn and Jessie groan) Barbara: Dick. Eileen: Jessie, why were you groaning? You get to go to the cruise with me! Julian and Jessie: What? Eileen: What did you guys expect me going on a cruise with Julian? Jessie and I are the Greg Corbin and Terry Bates of LA Senior High. Ciara: Of course, you guys and Josh and Derry are the gay couples. All Aboard! Jessie: Ok Dad, while I'm gone, do not let anyone go into my room and don't touch any of my shit. Same thing with Eileen's shit. Yoshi: Sure thing Jessie, I'll prevent anyone from entering your room. 10 minutes later... (Cruise departs) Jessie: Sayonara, bitches! Sharita: Well, I'm off to sea. Write to me every week, Ciara. Ciara: Uh Sharita, it's impossible for you to go on the cruise because it just left. Sharita: Fuck! Eileen and Jessie on the Cruise Jessie: Ahhh... this feels so nice. Eileen: IKR? Now rub this sunscreen on my back while I play Candy Crush Saga on my iPad. (unties her bikini) Jessie: Sure thing. (Gets a handful of sunscreen and rubs it on Eileen's back) Eileen: Mmmm... this feels so nice. Maybe we can do each other in our cabin tonight. Jessie: (giggles) Maybe you can do my back after I'm done doing yours. Eileen: Sure. Sharita Plans To Kill Jessie Sharita: That Asian hoe Jessie Yoshida has to fucking die! Ciara: Why? Sharita: Because she is such a stupid bitch! Her birth was a bigger accident than 9/11 and whatever Hitler did in WW2 combined! Ciara: That's horrible, Sharita. Sharita: Whenever I see her again, I'm going to shove her in my car. Then when I get to my house, I'm going to strip Jessie down and tie each of her limbs to my old, shitty bed. Next, I'm going to pour hot wax all over her torso while she watches Cops. Ciara: Are you going to shower her off after all of that wax? Sharita: Fuck no, I'm going to keep her dirty! Ciara: Ha! And call her a bitch. Sharita: Until I'm hoarse with rage! And finally, I'm going to make her gag on her sister's underwear! Sharita Finally Kills Jessie Jessie: What a magical night. Eileen and I rubbed sunscreen on each other's backs topless, we danced and had a really nice dinner. Nothing's going to mess up this night. Sharita: Hello there Jessie. Jessie: Hey Sharita, what's with the gun? Sharita: Something I should have done 2.5 months ago. (Sharita shoots Jessie 12 times, then Jessie falls off the cruise and into the sea) Sharita: Yes! That bitch is finally dead! (laughs) Who Dunnit? Part 1 Barbara: Hey Sharita, I found this receipt for a speedboat rental under your name in the hallway. It was dated about 2 months ago, the same night Jessie disappeared. Sharita: Uh, I went to a speedboat beach party? Barbara: I know that you killed Jessie on that night, and I will tell my daddy who is a cop and he will lock you up until pigs fly! Sharita: Ooh, I'll see you try bitch! I heard on the Total Drama Star Round Website that you have already been smacked down by a ghetto girl like me! Who Dunnit? Part 2 Sharita: Well, I was going to keep these mementos, but that bitch Barbara would probably get her dad to raid my room for evidence. I have to hide this in someone else's house. (Sharita runs to Eileen's house and looks inside her bedroom) Sharita: Perfect. I'll put this gun and these images in her rubbish bins, and nobody will know I did this! Barbara: Ok guys, the best way to find evidence is to search through garbage cans. Jocelyn: Wow, I haven't searched through Eileen's cans since Jessie died. Ciara: What the fuck's wrong with you, Joss? Barbara: Guys, we must be quiet. (searches through the garbage, finds some drawings) Oh my god, do you think Eileen drew these? Jocelyn: Well, it does look like her handwriting. I know this because she's in the same English class as me. Ciara: (finds a gun) Hey guys, look what I just found. Barbara: Oh my god. This is impossible, Eileen went ahead and killed her girlfriend, Jessie. Eileen Gets Framed Diane: In breaking news, Eileen Heinz has murdered Jessie Yoshida 2 months ago. Eileen: This is absolute bullshit! I was watching girl-on-girl porno on my iPad while I was waiting for Jessie! Rachel-Lou: You murdered my sister, well done. (pats Eileen on the back) Eileen: No I didn't! Officer Morinah: Eileen Heinz, you're under arrest for the murder of Jessie Yoshida. Eileen: What? I would never do anything to Jessie, except make out and bang her all night long. Officer Morinah: Well tell that to the judge! The Shocking Twist Judge: Eileen Heinz, you were accused of murdering Jessie Yoshida 2 months ago. Is this true? Eileen: No way. Jessie went out to go to the toilet before we started to get a little nasty in our cabin. (Everyone in the jury throws up) Sharita: Your honour, Eileen is lying and I have the proof. Sharita: In the re-enactment of the scene where Eileen murdered Jessie, I play Eileen and I paid a slutty Asian classmate to play Jessie. (Sharita plays the video) Sharita (as Eileen): Jessie, you are a fucking bitch, I'd rather bang a transsexual with penis and I fart so much. Classmate (as Jessie): You pay me now or what? (Sharita shoots the Asian classmate) Eileen: Oh my god. Your honour, this so did not happen at all! Judge: Well I have seen quite enough. Eileen Heinz, I sentence you to 25 years in prison. You'll be eligible for parole in 2026. Eileen: But I didn't do it! Jessie: Of course she didn't. Barbara (gasps): Oh my god Jessie, you're alive! Jocelyn: You're not really dead? Ciara: I thought Eileen shot you. Jessie: Nope, but someone else tried to. Barbara: Can you remember who it was? Jessie: Yes I do. It was Sharita! (Everyone gasps) Trivia *This episode is based on the Family Guy episode Stewie Kills Lois *The pictures Sharita drew were of: **Jessie getting shot multiple times by a machine gun with the words Die Jessie DIE! **Jessie with an axe on her head with the words Vile Bitch **Jessie getting her head cut off by a chainsaw with the words Jessie must die Gallery Category:Season 4 Category:Episodes Category:Non-Canon